A few funny stories from Murphy and his Family.
Murphy goes to confession and says to the priest.
"Father I've married two women, is that bigamny?
The priest replies, "Aye that would be 'big o' ye' all right."
Murphy turns up for mass. The priest welcomes him at the door with the news that he is the only one who has turned up for today's service.
"Should we bother today Murphy?"
"Well father if I go to feed the sheep and only one is there, I will still have to feed that sheep"
"I see your point Murphy come on in and well start the Mass"
Two hours later, after a great performance from the Priest, they finally get up to leave.
A rosy faced Priest approached Murphy "Well Murphy, a great Mass?"
"It's like this Father, when I said I would still have had to feed the sheep and wouldn't have gave it the full bag!"
Murphy's sister The Nun heads into a bar.
"A double vodka please"
"Are you sure" asked the barman.
"It's for the Mother Superior's constipastion" Murphy's sister replied whilst knocking back the drink in one.
"Another double vodka please barman" asks The Nun.
Again the barman asked was she sure.
The nun replied "It's for the Mother Superior's constipation"
She knocked it back in one and asked for a third double vodka.
"I thought these were for the Mother Superiors constipation" says the barman
"Well if she see's me tonight she'll have to make a run for the toilet!"